The Wedding... the year 1968 -- the bride-to-be is having an argument with the groom-to-be over the choice of flower girl...
As you know fathers have the job to pay for their daughters' wedding (unless he has died by the time daughter number 2 find the love of her life and mother who was hoping for this last child to be a son, declines and the wee girl has to pay her own way...).
So, the job of flower girl falls to the wee girl, the wee sister of the Bride-to-be... The groom-to-be wants his favourite niece to fill in the job -- long-story short, the dress available at the Bridal Rental does not fit said niece, but the sister's wee girl.
Oh don't you see, this wedding should never have taken place. Both parties are tying the knot after their respective partner left them for the groom-to-be the ring was thrown in his face, for the bride-to-be, he told her that his mother wanted him to marry the Irish green-eyed girl that's been next door all along. Oh dear...
It's 6 am on the big day -- our wee girl is gasping for air as 3 entire hairspray bottles are dumped on her head to hold the curl in her side pony tail. She has asthma and no one bothered to tell the hair dresser that none is to be used other than gel.
She already has a massive migraine as she was forced to sleep with extremely uncomfortable rollers overnight. The shower she took with her hair in a plastic bag was done after everyone else and guess what? The boiler is empty of hot water completely...
It's September, bright, unfortunately frigid -- dressed in a chiffon dress tubular fashion with a very tight belt under her non-existent chest -- after all she's only eight years old and the particular fairy is due four years later.
Thanks to the Bride energetic soft ball play a few days earlier, our wee girl needs to sport extremely thick stain covering medical make-up -- yes, her big sister broke her nose!
The whole wedding party is dressed for the occasions with loads of fur (I hear you scream: WHAT? Yo, it was popular back then). However, the Bridesmaid and the flower girl have to deal with the cold wind of this blustery September morning, the first of the autumn... Chiffon dress in light blue for the Bridesmaid who sports a chic bun made up of all her bottle blond hair along with short sleeves and what I call Egyptian make-up with Elizabeth Taylor style false lashes.
Bridesmaid and flower girl, jump out of the Bridal car and rush up the church's stairs in order to get inside lickety-split -- ah no such luck to enter warmth yet, photographer wants to take pics.
Yeah, 25 of them... by the time Blue and Pink girls make it in the knave of the church -- their hands are frozen to their flower bouquets.
The night before the rehearsal had gone perfectly -- why? No one had touched the free flowing spirits -- the Bride-to-be had a snoot-full. Now, everyone else is seated waiting for the ceremony to begin, the flower girl is the first one to walk on the organ resounding notes of "Here Comes the Bride" yes, very traditional...
Her legs feel as if they have turned to jelly -- no booze for her, but she is oh so very shy. It's a difficult time for her to face all of immediate and distant relatives staring down at her, as if they're waiting for her to make a mistake...
Our wee flower girl, counts in her head, the first notes ring out and looking ahead sees the wedding co-ordinator giving her the sign. Deep breath and one together, two together and so on.
Suddenly, the whole assembly explodes in laughter -- the flower girl just wants to disappear in the wedding carpet... Oh wait, it's not her fault, phew! What a relief.
The laughter is directed at the Bride who had to puke and nearly pulled her father down in the puddle -- you can imagine the rest.
When the organist realises that the flower girl is walking alone with no Bride-to-be following, thankfully he stops. Our flower girl, who by now notices what happened, find strength of heart and shouts -- well, would you hurry up, I've no plans to marry this guy today or any other day and definitely not in this fashion.
The years of abuse by big sister finally left the wee flower girl... Now, if you have watched such films as Four Weddings and a Funeral as well as Wedding Crashers, you know that many single girls use such venues to find their own happy-ever-after.
Sorry, but not always, especially when the only ones near your 8 years of age are first cousins who wouldn't dare be caught dancing with a cousin. So, our wee flower girl spent the night dancing with her 7 uncles. Her father, grand-father and older first cousins whose girlfriends weren't invited.
The only thing that made it enjoyable for Pink girl was that she became a ballroom specialist dancer, where her father paid for extra lessons. Ooh a lovely compensation.
Finally, the next day was party time for our wee flower girl, she was getting her big sister's bedroom with a double bed to boot. However, it wasn't a bed of roses, because Funeral number two was looming by mid 1969. Part 3 is coming up...